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 My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin

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Posts : 405
Join date : 2013-11-19
Age : 20

PostSubject: My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin   Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:09 pm

I declare. Really, I do declare that I shall take a test to advance to Chunin.

Name of Character: Kisorgi Rindar

Date: 11/28/2013

Current rank: Genin.
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Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-11-19
Age : 23
Location : Behind you.

PostSubject: Re: My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin   Fri Nov 29, 2013 1:23 am

Mmkay, Dann. I'll make this a decent test. Remember, you are here to offer and advertise to the Admins your general advancement from basic RP and literary efficiency to advanced and above-average proficiency.

We will be looking for:

- Above average grammar

- Above average sentence phrasing

-Above average understanding of RP

- Intellectual literary prowess

- Unique writing style

- Obvious advancement from previous level of skill

Here is your test.

(Since you really want to prove yourself, I'll give you a decently hard test).

Kisorgi finds himself in a land that is constantly raging with infernos, as the ground will randomly burst into flames, or jet out a stream of fire. Or even spew magma. Kisorgi finds himself hunted by a group of incredibly adept and powerful Fire style Ninja, their leader knowing the Magma Style Kekkei Genkai. Kisorgi has no idea why he's being chased, and there is no way to leave this land for two days until the marketing trade gates open to exit. There is one small village in the middle of the land, and every citizen wants Kisorgi dead. The water is incredibly scarce, and almost impossible to get. Around the village, there are no mountains, no walls. Just endless plains, and random massive fires across them. As well as fountains of magma.

CHALLENGE: Kisorgi must survive for two days. And also... EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE SHINOBI, EVEN THE GRUNTS, ARE BETTER NINJA, AND BETTER TACTICIANS THAN KISORGI. Remember, Fire is strong against Wind. They're all better in Taijutsu too. You start off with no food, or water. Two days of survival without them in this land are impossible. You would die in seventeen hours max.

Must be 2,500 words minimum.
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PostSubject: Re: My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin   Tue Dec 03, 2013 11:19 pm

My new Declare is this: You're traveling with Sain from Fire Emblem, and showing him around the Hidden Leaf village. In 1,000 words, explain what happens and what goes wrong, and how it's fixed.
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PostSubject: Re: My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin   Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:06 am

Sain wandered into the town, and stumbled upon Kisorgi. He asked for a tour, to maybe get a footing in this village. It wasn't a small one. It seemed as though he knew where he was going.  It was just a hunch, but hey, it got him this far.

“Hello Sir, Would you help me find my way around and maybe allow me to join you for a wee bit.” Sain said, as he looked around.

“Yea, sure...” Kisorgi said, shrugging and looking the guy up and down. “Names Kisorgi, what about yours?”

“Mines Sain, Nice to meet you Kisorgi.” He said, putting his hand out the shake. Kisorgi shook Sains hand and said, “Follow, We shall be going somewhat fast.”

Sain followed Kisorgi and when they came across a female ninja, Sain just had to try.

“Hello Ma'lady. May I have your name, or even better, your company?” He said flirt-fully.

“NO! You can't have either.” The lady said, and stormed off. Jeesh, She seemed awfully angry. It's not like he did anything but flirt. Kisorgi face-palmed and told Sain to come one. He had noticed Sain had a sword, but didn't mind it, the man seemed pretty nice and not at all hostile.

They toured for about 30 minutes, Sain hitting on most of the ladies on the way. It was rather annoying to Kisorgi, but he got a chuckle out of it a few times.  “Poor Guy, Getting Rejected a ton.” Kisorgi thought, but was almost laughing at how happy he was still. This Sain fellow was nice and seemed unaffected by the amount of rejections, this led me to assume he got rejected. A lot.

Well, after the constant rejections, we came upon a girl named Fio. Black garb and everything, I think Sain thought she was evil. He didn't really try to hit on her, his instincts as a knight coming into play. He unsheathed his sword and looked at her with a fierce determination.  Kisorgi walked forward and stepped in between the two.  He knew that there was two things that would happen. 1st off, a person would die. Second, They would get in trouble and this was Sains first time in the village. Which is why had to stop the fight.

Fio saw the man raise his sword. She didn't care much, she drew hers. She felt it as a challenge if you drew your sword against her. She didn't care whom you were, unless you were the Kage. Then you were kinda out of her district of not getting in giant trouble. She didn't say a thing, her hood over her head masking her face. She took the first slice.

Sain managed to dodge it, and sliced back. It didn't hit either, and if what was going to happen was to happen, Kisorgi needed to step in and fast. He moved back for the moment and the two clashed. Her hood came off and Sain backed off. He didn't want to fight her. He dodged a few of her hits. He didn't exactly have time to hit on her. It wasn't him to fight a random person whom wasn't evil or had the looks of it. She just happened to look like a baddie. So what?

Kisorgi stepped in under one of her slices and disarmed her. It was easy enough when she was mad. When she was clear headed, Kisorgi would probably have been hurt. He threw the sword to the side and blocked a punch or two of Fios. He caught 1 and kicked her leg from under her. She fell on her back and admitted defeat. Sain offered a hand and she took it. She got up with Sains help, and smiled. “You're not too bad. I've never seen you around before... you got a name?” She asked, questioning if this was a good idea.

Sain then responded with, “Sain, and what would yours be?” Fio responded with “Fio Kiangi.” They smiled at each other, but then Kisorgi said, “Come on, We need to proceed with your tour.” Fio turned to look at Kisorgi and asked, “May I also accompany  you? It's not as if I have much better to do.” He nodded and the three continued. The three walked and walked, they were nearing the end of the tour.

A log was about to fall from a roof, a stupid booby trap set by a younger ninja.  Kisorgi jumped over it, Sain dived to the side, and Fio sliced the log in half with her sword, now ablaze with fire. She got hit back onto her ass, even with it sliced in half. She didn't slice it soon enough, therefore she got hit by it. It didn't hurt nearly as much. She got up without much trouble, but Sain, Oh Sain, came over to her and asked, “Are you hurt?”

“No, No, I'm alright. Truly, I am okay.” She said, smiling. The guy cared, that's more then some people. While Sain seemed nice, he didn't really belong, Clad in his armor, he wouldn't out speed anyone, much-less her. But, his swordsmanship was good, and his humility was amazing. He didn't think himself higher then anyone, yet he could be a ninja easily. Mind you he would have to lose the armor, which I don't think he would like that much. But, Hey, this guy had a lot of good things going for him.

They continued on, nothing happening for a long while besides Sain trying to hit on Fio, a lot. But, at this point, it didn't really surprise Kisorgi. He did say a few words that surprised him, but that's for another story. Sain was a man, a honest, hard-working, and nice man. Even with his habit of hitting on girls, the man was awesome.

In the end, a few things were learned. That men could have big hearts yet still be tough as nails. That some people could live with constant rejections and still be happy with themselves. That you could be any size, and still be tough. You could be anything you really wanted, that's something they learned through a conversation they had. They learned about Sain and what he went through.
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Join date : 2013-11-20
Age : 25

PostSubject: Re: My Declaration of Advancement to Chunin   Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:56 am

Dann! Though I found a few pieces of your work to be above average in wording, I began to see A LOT of little mistakes that you would have seen had you double-checked your work. I regret to inform you that you'll remain a Genin for the time being. If your aim is to finish quickly and be done, you'll never advance in rank. PLEASE double-check your work when you finish the test. Also, look up words on google if you aren't entirely sure on how to spell them! (I do it all the time.) If you had done these simple things, I would have most likely advanced you to Chunin.

However, you can declare again in two more days! So until that time... Work on the stupid little errors that get left in your works, and try to use commas to extend sentences! (I noticed you'd use a lot of periods, rather than put a comma down.)

Example: "It wasn't a small one. It seemed as though he knew where he was going."
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